A
- Well, as I understand it, we are all born with the freedom of
choice. The degree of this varies from person to person, and from
area to area in our lives. In the case of neurotic people, our
instincts take on certain patterns and directions, sometimes so
compulsive they cannot be broken by any ordinary effort of the will.
The alcoholic's compulsion to drink is like that. As a smoker, for
example, I have a deeply ingrained habit - I'm almost an addict. But
I do not think that this habit is an actual obsession.
Doubtless
it could be broken by an act of my own will. If badly enough hurt, I
could in all probability give up tobacco. Should smoking repeatedly
land me in Bellevue Hospital, I doubt that I would make the trip many
times before quitting. But with my alcoholism, well, that was
something else again. No amount of desire to stop, no amount of
punishment, could enable me to quit. What was once a habit of
drinking became an obsession of drinking -- genuine lunacy.
Perhaps
a little more should be said about the obsessional character of
alcoholism. When our fellowship was about three years old some of us
called on Dr. Lawrence Kolb, then Assistant Surgeon General of the
United States. He said that our report of progress had given him his
first hope for alcoholics in general. Not long before, the U.S.
Public Health Department had thought of trying to do something about
the alcoholic situation. After a careful survey of the obsessional
character of our malady, this had been given up. Indeed, Dr. Kolb
felt that dope addicts had a far better chance.
Accordingly,
the government had built a hospital for their treatment at Lexington,
Kentucky. But for alcoholics -- well, there simply wasn't any use at
all, so he thought.
Nevertheless,
many people still go on insisting that the alcoholic is not a sick
man -- that he is simply weak or willful, and sinful. Even today we
often hear the remark "That drunk could get well if he wanted
to."
There
is no doubt, too, that the deeply obsessional character of the
alcoholic's drinking is obscured by the fact that drinking is a
socially acceptable custom. By contrast, stealing, or let us say
shop-lifting, is not. Practically everybody has heard of that form of
lunacy known as kleptomania. Oftentimes kleptomaniacs are splendid
people in all other respects. Yet they are under an absolute
compulsion to steal -- just for the kick. A kleptomaniac enters a
store a pockets a piece of merchandise. He is arrested and lands in
the police station. The judge gives him a jail term. He is
stigmatized and humiliated. Just like the alcoholic, he swears that
never,
never will he do this again.
On
his release from the jail, he wanders down the street past a
department store. Unaccountably he is drawn inside. He sees, for
example, a red tin fire truck, a child's toy. He instantly forgets
all about his misery in the jail. He begins to rationalize. He says,
"Well, this little fire engine is of no real value. The store
won't miss it." So he pockets the toy, the store detective
collars him, he is right back in the clink. Everybody recognizes this
type of stealing as sheer lunacy.
Now,
let's compare this behavior with that of an alcoholic. He, too, has
landed in jail. He has already lost family and friends. He suffers
heavy stigma and guilt. He has been physically tortured by his
hangover. Like the kleptomaniac he swears that he will never get into
this fix again. Perhaps he actually knows that he is an alcoholic. He
may understand just what that means and may be fully aware of what
the fearful risk of that first drink is.
Upon
his release from jail, the alcoholic behaves just like the
kleptomaniac. He passes a bar and at the first temptation may say,
"No, I must not go inside there; liquor is not for me." But
when lie arrives at the next drinking place, he is gripped by a
rationalization. Perhaps he says, "Well, one beer won't hurt me.
After all, beer isn't liquor." Completely unmindful of his
recent miseries, he steps inside. He takes that fatal first drink.
The following day, the police have him again. His fellow citizens
continue to say that he is weak or willful. Actually he is just as
crazy as the kleptomaniac ever was. At this stage, his free will in
regard to alcoholism has evaporated. He cannot very well be held
accountable for his behavior. (The N.C.C.A. 'Blue Book', Vol. 12,
1960)
Bill W
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