A - The approach to the alcoholic is everything. I think the preacher could do well if he does as we do. First find out all you can about the case, how the man reacts, whether he wants to get over his drinking or not. You see, it is very difficult to make an impression on a man who still wants to drink. At some point in their drinking career; most alcoholics get punished enough so that they want to stop, but then it's far too late to do it alone.
Sometimes,
if the alcoholic can be impressed with the fact that he is a sick
man, or a potentially sick man, then, in effect; you raise the bottom
up to him instead of allowing him to drop down those extra hard years
to reach it. I don't know of any substitute for sympathy and
understanding, as much as the outsider can have. No preaching, no
moralizing, but the emphasis on the idea that the alcoholic is a sick
man.
In
other words, the minister might first say to the alcoholic, "Well,
all my life I've misunderstood you people, I've taken you people to
be immoral by choice and perverse and weak, but now I realize that
even if there had been such factors, they really no longer count, now
you're a sick man." You might win over the patient by not
placing yourself up on a hilltop and looking down on him, but by
getting down to some level of understanding that he gets, or
partially gets. Then if you can present this thing as a fatal and
progressive malady and you can present our group as a group of people
who are not seeking to do anything against his will -- we merely want
to help if he wants to be helped -- then sometimes you've laid the
groundwork.
I
think that clergymen can often do a great deal with the family. You
see, we alcoholics are prone to talk too much about ourselves without
sufficiently considering the collateral effects. For example, any
family, wife and children, who have had to live with an alcoholic 10
or 15 years, are bound to be rather neurotic and distorted
themselves. They just can't help it. After all when you expect the
old gent to come home on a shutter every night, it's wearing.
Children get a distorted point of view; so does the wife. Well, if
they constantly hear it emphasized that this fellow is a terrible
sinner, that he's a rotter, that he's in disgrace, and all that sort
of thing, you're not improving the condition of the family at all
because, as they become persuaded of it, they get highly intolerant
of the alcoholic and that merely generates more intolerance in him.
Therefore, the gulf which must be bridged is widened, and that is why
moralizing pushes people, who might have something to offer, further
away from the alcoholic. You may say that it shouldn't be so, but
it's one of those things that is so. (Yale Summer School of Alcohol
Studies, June 1945)
Bill
W
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