The following is a talk Bill gave to the American Psychiatric Association in 1949.
AMERICAN
JOURNAL OF PSYCHIATRY © Vol. 106, 1949. THE SOCIETY OF ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS WILLIAM W., CO-FOUNDER
Alcoholics Anonymous is grateful for this invitation
to appear before The American Psychiatric Association. It is a most
happy circumstance.
Being
laymen, we have naught but a story to tell, hence the quite personal
and unscientific character of this narrative. Whatever their deeper
implications the attitudes and events leading to the formation of
Alcoholics Anonymous are easy to portray. Two alcoholics talk across
a kitchen table. One is drinking, the other is not. Severe
chronics, the threat of commitment hangs over both. The time is
November 1934. The active drinker became, years later, the writer of
this paper.
My
sober visitor was an old friend and schoolmate, long catalogued by
physicians and family as hopeless. I enjoyed the same rating and
well knew it. My friend had arrived to tell me how he had been
released from alcohol. In truth, the quality of his sobriety seemed
different. Having made contact with the Oxford Group, a
nondenominational, evangelical movement, my friend had been specially
impressed by an alcoholic he had met, a former patient of C. G. Jung.
Unsuccessfully
treating this individual for a year, Dr. Jung had finally advised him
to try religious conversion as his last chance. While disagreeing
with many tenets of the Oxford Group, my former schoolmate did,
however, ascribe his new sobriety to certain ideas that this
alcoholic and other Oxford people had given him. The particular
practices my friend had selected for himself were simple:
1.
He admitted he was powerless to solve his own problem.
2.
He got honest with himself as never before; made an examination of
conscience.
3.
He made a rigorous confession of his personal defects.
4.
He surveyed his distorted relations with people, visiting them to
make restitution.
5.
He resolved to devote himself to helping others in need, without the
usual demand for personal prestige or material gain.
6.
By meditation he sought God's direction for his life and help to
practice these principles at all times.
This
sounded pretty naive to me. Nevertheless my friend stuck to the plain
tale of what had happened -- no evangelizing. He related how
practicing these precepts, his drinking had unaccountably stopped.
Fear and isolation left and he had received considerable peace of
mind. With no hard disciplines nor any great resolves, these
attributes began to appear the moment he conformed. His release was
a byproduct. Though sober but months, he felt he had a basic answer.
Wisely avoiding any argument, he then took leave. The spark that was
to become Alcoholics Anonymous had been struck.
What
then did happen at the kitchen table? Perhaps this speculation were
better left to medicine and religion. I confess I do not know.
Possibly conversion will never be fully understood.
Looking
outward from such an experience, I can only say with fidelity what
seemed to happen. Yet something did happen that instantly changed
the current of my life. I haven't had a drink for over fourteen
years. All else will be mere personal opinion -- or just fancy.
My
friend's story had generated mixed emotions; I was drawn and revolted
by turns. My solitary drinking went on, but I could not forget his
visit. Several themes coursed in my mind: First, that his evident
state of release was strangely and immensely convincing. Second,
that he had been pronounced hopeless by competent medicos. Third,
that those age-old precepts, when transmitted by him, had struck me
with great power. Fourth, that I could not, and would not, go along
with any God concept. No conversion nonsense for me. Thus did I
ponder. Trying to divert my thoughts, I found it no use By cords of
understanding, suffering, and simple verity, another alcoholic had
bound me to him. I shall not break away.
One
morning after my gin a realization welled up. Who are you, I asked,
to choose how you are going to get well? Beggars are not choosers.
Suppose medicine said carcinoma was your trouble. You would not turn
to Pond's extract. In abject haste you would beg a doctor to kill
those hellish cancer cells. If he didn't stop them, and you thought
conversion could, your pride would fly away. You would soon stand in
public squares crying Amen along with other victims.
What
difference then, I reflected, between you and the cancer victim? His
sick body crumbles. Likewise your personality crumbles, your
obsession consigns you to madness or the undertaker. Are you going
to try your friends formula -- or not?
Of
course I did try. In December, 1934, I appeared at Towns Hospital,
New York.
My
old friend, Dr. W. D. Silkworth, shook his head. Soon free of
sedation and alcohol, I felt horribly depressed. My alcoholic friend
turned up. Though glad to see him, I shrank a little. I feared
evangelism. Nothing of the sort happened. After small talk, I again
asked him about the Oxford Groups. Quietly, sanely enough, he told
me, and then departed.
Lying
there in conflict, I dropped into a black depression. Momentarily my
prideful obstinacy was crushed. I cried out: Now I’m ready to do
anything - anything to receive what my good friend has. Expecting
naught, I made this frantic appeal: If there be a God, will he show
himself!
The
result was instant, electric, beyond description. The place lit up,
blinding white. I knew only ecstasy and seemed on a mountain. A
great wind blew, enveloping and permeating me. It was not of air,
but of Spirit. Blazing, came the tremendous thought, You are a free
man! Then ecstasy subsided. Still on the bed I was now in another
world of consciousness which was suffused by a Presence. One with
the Universe, a great peace stole over me and I thought, So this is
the God of the preachers; this is the Great Reality. But reason
returned, my modern education took over.
Obviously
I had gone crazy. I became terribly frightened.
Dr.
Silkworth came in to hear my trembling account of the phenomenon. He
assured me I was not mad; that I had perhaps undergone an experience
which might solve my problems.
Skeptical man of science he then was;
this was most kind and astute. If he had said hallucination I might
now be dead. To him I shall be eternally grateful.
Good
fortune pursued me. Somebody brought a book entitled Varieties of
Religious Experience and I devoured it. Written by James, the
psychologist, it suggests that conversion can have objective reality.
Conversion does alter motivation, and does semi-automatically enable
a person to be and do the formerly impossible. Significant it was,
that marked conversion experiences come mostly to individuals who
know complete defeat in a controlling area. The book certainly
showed variety. But bright or dim, cataclysmic or gradual,
theological or intellectual in bearing, such conversions did have
common denominators, they did change utterly defeated people. And so
declared William James. The shoe fitted. I have tried to wear it
ever since. For drunks, the obvious answer was deflation at depth
and more of it. That seemed plain as a pikestaff. I had been
trained as an engineer, so the views of this authoritative
psychologist meant everything to me.
Armored
now by utter conviction and fortified by my characteristic power
drive, I took off to cure alcoholics wholesale. It was twin jet
propulsion; difficulties meant nothing. The vast conceit of my
project never occurred to me. I pressed my assault for six months;
my home was filled with alcoholics Harangues with scores produced
not the slightest result. None of them got it.
Disappointingly, my
friend of the kitchen table, who was sicker than I realized, took
little interest in these other alcoholics. This fact may have caused
his endless backslides later on. For I had found that working with
alcoholics had a huge bearing on my own sobriety
.
But
why wouldn’t any of my new prospects sober up?
Slowly
the bugs came to light. Like a religious crank, I was obsessed with
the idea that everybody must have a spiritual experience just like
mine. I’d forgotten that there were many varieties. So my brother
alcoholics just stared incredulously or kidded me about my hot flash.
This had spoiled the potent identification so easy to get with them.
I had turned evangelist. Clearly the deal had to be streamlined.
What came to me in six minutes might require six months in others.
It
was to be learned that words are things, that one must be prudent.
It was also certain that something ailed the deflationary technique.
It definitely lacked wallop.
Reasoning
that the alcoholic's hex, or compulsion, must issue from some deep
level, it followed that ego deflation must also go deep or else there
couldn’t be any fundamental release. Apparently religious practice
would not touch the alcoholic until his underlying situation was made
ready. Fortunately all the tools were right at hand. You doctors
supplied them.
The
emphasis was straightway shifted from sin to sickness -- the fatal
malady, alcoholism. We quoted doctors that alcoholism was more
lethal than cancer; that it consisted of an obsession of the mind
coupled to increasing body sensitivity. These were our Twin Ogres of
Madness and Death. We leaned heavily on Dr. Jung's statement how
hopeless the condition could be and then poured that devastating dose
into every drunk within range. To modern man science is omnipotent;
it is a god. Hence if science would pass a death sentence on the
drunk, and we placed that verdict on our alcoholic transmission belt,
it might shatter him completely. Perhaps he would then turn to the
God of the theologian, there being no place else to go. Whatever the
truth in this device, it certainly had practical merit. Immediately
our whole atmosphere changed. Things began to look up.
Bankrupt
at the time, I stumbled into a business venture. It took me to
Akron, Ohio, where the deal quickly collapsed leaving me dispirited.
Alone, I panicked in fear of getting drunk. This was something new
for I realized that I hadn’t thought of drinking since the December
1934 experience. I could now see my peril clearly and thus brush off
the usual rationalizations. With relief, I perceived that my new
spiritual conditioning really meant something now that the heat was
on. But that didn’t stop the compulsive up rush of drinking
desire. I needed to talk to another alcoholic, and quickly.
Shortly
I was introduced to Dr. Robert S., a surgeon. He was an alcoholic in
a bad way. This time there was no preachment from me. I told him my
experience and what I thought I knew about alcoholism. Needing him
as much as he did me, there was a genuine mutuality for the first
time and, as we now say in A.A., he soon clicked never to drink
again. That was June 1935. We began to spend long hours on drunks
at a local hospital. One of them is sober yet, no relapse. Though
nameless, the first A.A. Group had actually started. Dr. S. has
since hospitalized some 4,000 cases at Akron. The bulk have
recovered. All this too without a cent of monetary return to him.
Thus he became co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. As I left Akron
in September 1935 three alcoholics were staying sober.
Arrived
at New York, I set to work and another A.A. group took shape. But
nothing was very sure; we still flew blind.
It
was soon necessary to retire from the Oxford Group. The good people
there had disapproved of us. For our purpose, the Oxford Group
atmosphere wasn’t entirely right. Their demands for absolute moral
rectitude encouraged guilt and rebellion. Either will get alcoholics
drunk, and did. As nonalcoholic evangelists, they couldn’t
understand that. Good friends these, we owed them much. From them
we had learned what, and what not, to do.
Then
commenced a 3 year season of trial and error eventuating in our
textbook Alcoholics Anonymous, published in 1939. That book, now
backbone of our A.A. society, opens with a typical story of drinking
and recovery. Next comes a chapter of hope, entitled There Is A
Solution. In A.A. vernacular two chapters describe alcoholism and
the alcoholic, their object being of course to first identify and
then deflate. A chapter is devoted to softening up the agnostic.
This
leads to the Twelve Steps of present-day Alcoholics Anonymous. The
heart of our therapy, and a practical way of life, these Steps are
little but an amplified and streamlined version of the principles
enumerated by my friend of the kitchen table.
The
balance of the text is mostly devoted to practical application of
these Twelve Steps, and to reducing the inner resistance of the
reader. Working with other alcoholics is very heavily emphasized.
Chapters are devoted to wives, family relations, and employers. The
final chapter pictures the new society and begs the recovered
alcoholic to form a group himself. This ideology is then shored up
by 30 case histories, or rather stories, written by A.A. members.
These complete the identification and stir hope. The 400 pages of
Alcoholics Anonymous contain no theory; they narrate experience only.
When
the book appeared in April 1939, we had about 100 members. One-third
of these had impressive sobriety records. The movement had spread to
Cleveland and drifted toward Chicago and Detroit. In the East it
inclined to Philadelphia and Washington. There was an extraordinary
event at Cleveland. The Plain Dealer published strong pieces about
us backed by editorials. A barrage of telephone calls descended on
20 A.A. members, mostly new people. A.A. book in hand, they took on
all comers. New members worked with the still newer. Two years
later, Cleveland had garnered by this chain reaction hundreds of new
members.
The
batting average was excellent. It was our first evidence that we
might digest huge numbers rapidly.
Then
came great national publicity. The Saturday Evening Post piece
(March 1941) shot thousands of frantic inquiries into our tiny New
York office. This gave us lists of alcoholics in hundreds of cities.
Business men traveling out of established A.A. centers used these
names to start new groups. By sending literature and writing often,
A.A. groups sprung up by mail. With no personal contact whatever,
this was astounding. Clergy and medical men began to give their
approval. I wish to say that Dr. Harry Tiebout, chairman of our
discussion today, was the first psychiatrist ever to observe and
befriend us. Alcoholics Anonymous mushroomed. The pioneering had
ended. We were on the U.S. map.
As
of 1949 our quantity results are these. The 14-year-old society of
Alcoholics Anonymous has 80,000 members in about 3,000 groups. We
have entered into 30 foreign countries and U.S. possessions;
translations are going forward. By occupation we are an accurate
cross section of America. By religious affiliation we are about 40%
Catholic; nominal and active Protestants, also many former agnostics,
and a sprinkling of Jews comprise the remainder. Ten to 15% are
women. Some Negroes are recovering without undue difficulty. Top
medical and religious endorsements are almost universal. A.A.
membership is pyramiding, chain style, at the rate of about 30% a
year. During 1949, we expect 20,000 permanent recoveries, at least.
Half of these will be medium or mild cases (average age about 36) a
fairly recent development.
Of
alcoholics who stay with us and really try, 50% get sober at once and
stay that way, 25% do so after some relapses and the remainder
usually show improvement. But many problem drinkers do quit A.A.
after a brief contact, maybe three or four out of five. Some are too
psychopathic or damaged. But the majority have powerful
rationalizations yet to be broken down. Eventually this does happen
providing they get what A.A. calls a good exposure, on first contact.
Alcohol then builds such a hot fire that they are finally driven
back to us, often years later.
They
tell us that they had to return; it was A.A, or else. They had
learned about alcoholism from alcoholics; they were hit harder than
they had known. Such cases leave us the agreeable impression that
half our original exposures will eventually return, most of them to
recover. So we just indoctrinate the newcomer.
We
never evangelize; Barleycorn will look after that. The clergy
declare we have capitalized the Devil. These claims are considerable
but we think them conservative. The ultimate recovery rate will
certainly be larger than once supposed.
Such
is a glimpse of our origin, central therapeutic idea, and quantity
result.
The
qualitative result is assuredly too large a subject for this paper.
Alcoholics
Anonymous is not a religious organization; there is no dogma. The
one theological proposition is a Power greater than one's self. Even
this concept is forced on no one. The newcomer merely immerses
himself in our society and tries the program as best he can. Left
alone, he will surely report the gradual onset of a transforming
experience, call it what he may.
Observers once thought A.A. could
appeal only to the religiously susceptible. Yet our membership
includes a former member of the American Atheist Society and about
20,000 others almost as tough. The dying can become remarkably open
minded. Of course we speak little of conversion nowadays because so
many people really dread being God-bitten. But conversion, as
broadly described by James, does seem to be our basic process; all
other devices are but the foundation. When one alcoholic works with
another, he but consolidates and sustains that essential experience.
The
forces of anarchy, democracy, and dictatorship play impressive roles
in the structure and containment of our society; Barleycorn the
Tyrant Dictator is quite impersonal. But Hitler never did have a
Gestapo half so effective. When the anarchy of the alcoholic faces
his tyrant, that alcoholic must become a social animal or perish.
Perforce, our society has settled for the purest kind of democracy.
Naturally,
the explosive potential of our rather neurotic fellowship is
enormous. As elsewhere, it gathers closely around those eternal
provocateurs: power, money and sex. Throughout A.A. these
subterranean volcanoes erupt at least a thousand times daily;
explosions we now view with some humor, considerable magnanimity, and
little fear at all. We think them valuable object lessons for
development. Our deep kinship, the urgency of our mission, the need
to abate our neurosis for contented survival; all these, together
with love for God and man, have contained us in surprising unity.
There seems safety in numbers. Enough sand bags muffle any amount of
dynamite. We think we are a pretty secure, happy family. Drop by any
A.A. meeting for a look.
But,
there isn’t the slightest evidence that violent neurosis,
drunkenness, or lunacy is to be the destiny of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Such dark forecasts have not materialized.
Many
an alcoholic is now sent to A.A. by his own psychiatrist. Relieved
of his drinking, he returns to the doctor a far easier subject.
Practically every alcoholic’s wife has become, to a degree, his
possessive mother. Most alcoholic women, if they still have a
husband, live with a baffled father. This sometimes spells trouble
aplenty. We A.A.’s certainly ought to know! So, gentlemen, here
is a big problem right up your alley.
Now
to conclude: We of A.A. try to be aware that we may never touch but a
segment of the total alcohol problem. We try to remember that our
growing success may prove a heady wine; that our own resources will
always be limited.
So
then, will you men and women of medicine be our partners; physicians
wielding well your invisible scalpels; workers all, in our common
cause? We like to think Alcoholics Anonymous a middle ground between
medicine and religion, the missing catalyst of a new synthesis. This
to the end that the millions who still suffer may presently issue
from their darkness into the light of day!
I
am sure that none, attending this great Hall of Medicine will feel it
untoward if I leave the last word to our silent partner, Religion:
God
grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage
to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.
##
Read at the 105th Annual Meeting of the American Psychiatric
Association©, Montreal, Quebec, May 23-27, 1949. ©
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